We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
