And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize