The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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