im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
