I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
