I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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