we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
