he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
