so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
