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One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
