I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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