my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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