i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
