so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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