remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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