i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I pour the whiskey from now on
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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