the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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