And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
