I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
