is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
