I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
