I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
