if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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