highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
