I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize