He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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