I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize