are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
