you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
