SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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