I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
