I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
