Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
