please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
