you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize