Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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