Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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