Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
