I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
