girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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