i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
