I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
