yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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