Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
high people should be assigned attendants
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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