Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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