Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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