If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize