Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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