I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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