Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
