Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
