you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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