HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
this hospital has no fireball
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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