stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize