Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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