I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
