Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
