xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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