I wish I could teleport
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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