people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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