haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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