all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
